Ten Things I Would Teach My Daughter: Don’t be mad, I’m just saying…

By Carlos Muhammad

Article reprised from Spring 2011 edition of Virtue Mag
www.virtuemag.com

I’m over 30, no wife, no children…does that make me selfish? I guess that would depend on my reasons, wouldn’t it? To be honest, having children outside of marriage has never been an option for me and certainly not something I would encourage others to do, but I know “THINGS HAPPEN.” I always ask myself, what will be the consequences of my actions? What kind of father would I be outside of the institution of marriage? What if I had a son? What would I teach and instill in him? Would I give him thumbs up and a “daddy” wink when he does something that the world regards as manly? When I see him showing interest in little girls and doing things that would ultimately grow into disrespect for someone’s daughter would I pull him to the side and teach him the proper way to respect women, show chivalry and wait until marriage to engage in sexual intercourse or “baby making?” What if I had a daughter? What would I teach and instill in her about men and their perception of women? What would I tell her so she may protect herself, her virtue and her chastity? Would I reinforce and echo the words of the Most Honorable Elijah Muhammad when he says “to teach a man is to teach an individual but to teach a woman is to teach a nation?”

I have compiled a list of 10 things I would teach my daughter, they are as follow:

1. Seek and honor God in all you do: In seeking and honoring God you are less likely to dishonor yourself. God is your protection and your relationships should be predicated on their relationship with God. If they have no relationship with God they don’t deserve a relationship with you. Kick them to the curb!

2. Develop a positive mental attitude and true love for self: This can only come about by gaining true “knowledge of self.” Knowing self is really a destination that is traveled while we ride on this road called life. Our mileage on the planet often allows us to observe and experience situations that leave marks along our path. Make sure you leave positive marks and not craters in the road.

3. Be Modest: Modesty is not only something you exhibit in your behavior but also in your dress. Men are “carnivorous” and are drawn to the physical attributes of women. Cover yourself or dress in a way that is not provocative and you’ll attract a man that is attracted to your mental and spiritual qualities and not view you as a piece of meat. It is so easy to show off your “goods” but it displays discipline, style and grace to dress in a modest way. Cover up your body, mind and spirit. Mystery is always more intriguing to men.

4. Be respectful: Respect begets respect. You attract what you are. If you are someone that doesn’t have respect for yourself you’ll draw people around you that are disrespectful and have little to no respect for you and what you stand for (If you don’t stand for anything this is a mute point). People will ultimately use you as a doormat and walk all over you if you don’t stick up for your beliefs. Don’t be a toilet or trash can for people to dispose their waste or garbage. When people see that you have respect for yourself they’ll be forced to be respectful to you and around you.

5. Be Knowledgeable: Bottom line, there is nothing attractive about a dummy. Incompetence, ignorance and stupidity are indicators of one’s unwillingness to extend self, seek out information and strive for the acquisition of knowledge. BEING DUMB IS A CHOICE. If you’re a dumb “airhead” woman you’ll produce dumb children. Remember the words of the Most Honorable Elijah Muhammad “the woman is the field by which we produce our Nation”. You bear good fruit when you are a well nourished seed from a strong tree (knowledge base). READ…READ and ALWAYS READ.

6. Speak like a Queen: If you speak like a queen instead of talking like a Rapper using the “B” word all the time. Use proper language and people will reciprocate that same kind of behavior in your presence. Remember point number 4. These two go hand in hand. Nobody likes to hear a woman being profane, cursing and carrying herself like she just came out of an R-rated movie. I call women like this “sewage mouths.” Most women like this emit a putrid scent in the atmosphere with their verbal filth. Don’t be mad, I’m Just Saying…

7. Act like a GODDESS: When you act in a divine light and see yourself as a co-creator with the creator your disposition alone will transmit a different kind of frequency and create a different kind of energy. You are a divine woman and really hold within your being the power to transmit what transforms and transcends anything temporal, carnal or superficial. You are majesty. Always display that.

8. Don’t give up your virtue: In other words remain chaste and sex free if you plan on attracting a mate that will respect, honor and uphold you as his Queen and Goddess. This may be a difficult task in this kind of world but the end justifies the means and it’ll be easier to weed out those who are truly interested in you and not your “goodies”. Remember carnivores are waiting to devour you. Look for a man that’s fasting (smile) until he is around a meal that is nutritious.

9. Don’t get caught up in gossip: Women that spend too much time consuming gossip and garbage become what they consume. Keep company with those that are more interested in positive situations, energy and company. When someone wants to engage you in he say/she say tell them you are removing yourself from that kind of nonsense because it only breeds trouble.

10. Seek and honor God in all you do: If you followed this advice in point number 1 everything else would be a non issue…

…after viewing and digesting all of the above I would have prepared my daughter to go out into the world. Any violations of the above points would bring down the wrath of Daddy Carlos and render her to isolation and punishment in her bedroom for the next 20 years (smile). Ok, there is room for error I suppose but maybe that’s why I don’t have a daughter yet. Don’t be mad, I’m Just Saying…

(Carlos Muhammad is the author of the book Caressed Spirits: Poetic Thoughts and reflections from a Black man’s perspective and the co-founder of Luv4self Enterprises. He currently works as an adjunct Instructor and Coordinator for the Office of Student Life at Baltimore City Community College. Carlos can be reached at cmuhammad@luv4self.org)